


Building Back From Nothing

by TheBrunetteWeasley



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Coulson Lives, Darcy Lewis April Challenge, Darcy/Clint friendship, Darcy/Coulson relationship, F/M, Miscarriage, Nick Fury is an asshat, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3843520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBrunetteWeasley/pseuds/TheBrunetteWeasley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis did it all. She stood at the funeral as his girlfriend, she received his flag from his coffin. But when she arrives at work one morning and discovers that her lover is actually alive, her world splits in two. But knowing that it's not his fault that they weren't in contract, and forgiving him for that are two very different things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. International Fun At Work Day

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own this. At all.
> 
> I'm using the prompts from the 30 Days of April challenge on the fuckyeahdarcylewis blog. Because it's fantastic and I loves it. Hopefully posting one chapter a day. HOPEFULLY.

Darcy Lewis wasn’t sure what she was expecting to happen, the first day back at work after SHIELD had been destroyed, but she was pretty sure it was not this. Make that a hundred percent sure. She’d arrived into her office off the labs, expecting to sit down, drink her coffee, go through her emails and then yell at Tony Stark to go to the board meeting he had to appear at every Monday at noon. Instead, she walked in, took a look at the person sitting in her chair and dropped her coffee, the “Woman At Work” mug shattering as it hit tile, releasing the aroma of coffee, caramel and hazelnut.

 

“My apologies, Miss Lewis. I should have informed you,” the man in the chair turned and faced her, looking at Darcy carefully. She stared back at him, taking in the hairline that was farther back than it had been two years ago, the blue eyes that she used to know so well, able to tell the emotions behind them better than nearly anyone.

 

“Fuck that, Phil. Inform me? You should have called me as soon as you woke up. Because trust me, the grieving girlfriend is not a good look on me. I went to your funeral, and I watched them cremate you. I have your goddamn fucking ashes in my apartment! So drop the ‘Miss Lewis’ bullshit, and get the hell out of my office.” She felt like doing three things at once: crawling into a ball and sobbing, screaming at him until he understood how she felt and running and kissing him harder than she ever had before. Her Phil was alive...alive and healthy and didn’t look like he’d died. Instead, he was sitting in her chair, wearing one of his ever present suits. How the hell was he even here.

 

Darcy didn’t want to know, couldn’t bear to know. She pointed at the door, and he stood up, looking at her gently as he walked through it. As soon as he was gone, she closed the door and slid down it, her hands over her face. This wasn’t happening. She couldn’t do this again. Losing Phil had nearly killed her, when she’d arrived back in New York with Jane, and Tasha had met them at the gate. She couldn’t go through with knowing that at any moment he could and would be killed.

 

It took her ten minutes before she could stand up, and there was a knock on her door as she did. Wiping her eyes, she opened it to find Tony standing outside it.

 

“Hey, so...there was a plan for us all to just do our normal routine, but now that Agent Agent is actually alive, and Pepper’s reaming him out for not telling anyone, I decided it’s a really good idea to book out the lazer tag arena in Brooklyn for the day. So we’re having a lab day out. Get your coat, and we’ll meet you downstairs in twenty minutes.” Tony looked straight into Darcy’s eyes, holding her gaze. “He’s an asshole, and this is how we’re going to cheer you up.”

 

Darcy knew when to pick her battles with Tony, and this wasn’t one that she was likely to win. She followed him out of the office, and they met Bruce, Jane and Thor downstairs. Darcy tried talking to Jane, but her mind kept going back to Phil. He was alive. Alive. The word ran around her brain, until she was startled by Jane saying her name.

 

“Darcy, you ok? Pepper’s here, we’re leaving.” The scientist looked thin and fragile on the outside, but she could worm her way into Darcy’s head in a moment. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, and Darcy wasn’t going to tell Jane everything. She shook her head and smiled before following everyone outside.

 

True to his word, Tony had rented out an entire laser tag arena for a few hours. They played as teams (Avengers vs Normals, Scientists v Non-Scientists, and Darcy’s favourite, Assistants v Tony). Pepper seemed to be the one who could turn a team to winners, and she and Darcy won all except the Avengers one, because there was no way they were going to beat Thor. It passed quickly, and Darcy was able to properly unwind for their time there. But the closer she got to the tower, the more she felt like she was going to have a panic attack. Again. The car pulled up outside, and it took too much of Darcy’s self control to not run into the building and hide in her apartment. Instead, she got into the elevator at a normal pace with everyone else, and got out at the large communal kitchen. When Clint arrived down, two hours later, the kitchen smelled like Italian food and there were three cupcake trays lined up, waiting for the oven.

 

“You know, I’m guessing?” The older man said, snagging a mozzarella stick off the plate they were resting on. He watched as Darcy jerked up at his voice, before settling back to whatever task she was doing.

 

“Yup. And I’m in no mood to talk about it. I’m just going to let my feelings out through cooking.” By the time the rest of the team and their various partners came down, the cupcakes were ready and Darcy didn’t feel like sobbing at the thought of Phil. Even though Natasha hugged her tighter than usual, she didn’t think anything of it. Darcy grabbed the first tray of lasagna and placed it down at one end of the table. She and Clint moved the eight trays across, along with the garlic bread and the mozzarella sticks that Clint hadn’t stolen. Everyone sat around the table, the six Avengers, Pepper, Jane and Darcy. They chatted, and Darcy finally felt like she was going to be ok.

  
Until Tony announced that Phil would be the new liaison for the Avengers to the various government agencies tracking them.


	2. National Peanut Butter And Jelly Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns about why Phil couldn't contact her, and lets Clint comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm updating when I said I would! This is a big deal, believe me. Today's day: National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day.

“Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time,” Darcy curled up under the blanket she’d made in New Mexico, watching PB&J Otter on tv. She’d been eleven when the show had first aired, but she’d watched it when babysitting neighbourhood kids, and it was still a comfort. And comfort was exactly what she needed.

 

The last twenty four hours had been nothing short of a clusterfuck of various proportions. Phil was alive, and had been alive since she thought she’d buried him. Not only that, but because he could be trusted to keep them safe, he was going to be the government liaison for the Avengers. Which, unfortunately for Darcy, meant that in her role as the lab manager for Stark Industries (including two of the Avengers), she’d probably have to spend time with him. Which was something she really didn’t want to ever do again. After Tony’s announcement over dinner, she’d stood up and walked out of the room, ignoring everyone talking behind her. She’d fired off an email this morning, telling her assistant and the heads of projects that she worked with that she was taking a personal day. So this day was being dedicated to knitting, comfort tv and comfort food.

 

Still humming the song from the show, she walked into the small kitchen in her apartment and pulled out fixings for a fried PBJ. It may not have been particularly healthy or good for her, but there was something about the taste of hot peanut butter that sounded particularly perfect for the mood that she was in.

 

One day was all she was giving herself before she had to go back to work. She got one day to accept that Phil was alive, to accept that he obviously didn’t care about her like she did about him, and that she’d have to deal with seeing him in the future. On a regular basis. No big deal, Lewis, you got this, it’s all good. Even though she felt like it really, REALLY wasn’t.

 

The sandwich was frying away on the stove when there was a knock on the door. “Miss Lewis, it’s Agent Barton. I would advise letting him enter your apartment.” JARVIS said from the speaker in the roof. Darcy glared at the door, before calling for Clint to enter.

 

“Darcy, I didn’t know, I swear. If I did I would have told you. I don’t know what the hell Stark thinks he’s playing at, inviting him to live and work here.” Clint’s words ran out in a rush. The two of them had dealt with their grief over Phil together, and Clint was the one who convinced Darcy that things were going to get better.

 

“I know...I know, Clint,” Darcy began, flipping her sandwich as she spoke, “but that’s Tony. I’ll deal with this, eventually. I’m not gonna have a lot of choice. Question is, though, will you?” Her voice was quiet as she asked the archer a question that neither of them liked.

 

“I’ll be fine. Honestly I’m worried about you. You lost him, then you had the miscarriage, and everything. And now he’s back and he doesn’t even know, and I want to hug you and punch him. And punch Fury.” Clint shoved his hands in his pockets in an attempt to calm them, as Darcy spun around.

 

“What do you mean, Fury? He’s the one who told me that Phil was dead. You’re not saying he knew.”

 

“You know as well as I do that Phil’s medical directive was very clear. He’d signed that DNR years ago, and the no extraordinary measures was added before you met him. If he was dying, he wanted to die. Fury ignored them, and he brought him back. It’s all in the files that Tasha spilled onto the internet. Go look.” The archer took the skillet off the heat, putting Darcy’s sandwich onto a plate and laying it beside her laptop. Darcy started flicking through the files that had been put online. She’d saved anything that had any of Phil’s aliases, or anything even with his intials, but hadn’t gone through them. It took just under an hour for the whole picture to come together.

 

“They did this to him? All of it?” Darcy tried to stop her voice from going hysterical, but it was difficult. She’d called Nick Fury a friend, had let him into her life after Phil had died - no, after he’d gone. He’d never died. Well, technically he’d been dead for a week, but that was neither here nor there at that point.

 

“I spoke to one of the agents he travelled with, she’ll be working in the lab for Stark, Simmons. She said that he always spoke about Tahiti, that it was a, quote, ‘magical place’. The project was Operation T.A.H.I.T.I., they changed his memories. Until he recovered all of them, she doesn’t think he even knew you existed outside of when Thor first arrived here.” Clint stared at Darcy, hoping that she wouldn’t start to cry again.

 

“I thought he just didn’t care about me.” Her voice was low, but there were no tears. She sounded like she couldn’t believe what Clint was saying to her, but knew that it was true. It wasn’t fair, and it had Nick Fury’s grubby fingerprints all over it. She held together until Clint reached around and hugged her, and it was only then she let the tears flow.

 

“I told Tony I needed a personal day. He knows about Phil and I, but not about anything else. As far as he, and everyone except you and Tasha is concerned, we were in a long term relationship with nothing else happening, understood?” Darcy was finally able to talk, after the tears had stopped flowing and her sobs had stopped choking out. Her eyes and nose were red raw, but her voice was clear.

  
“Consider it done,” Clint replied, smoothing down her hair. “Now, want another PBJ sandwich?”


	3. Tweed Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy meets Jemma Simmons, and plans a dinner meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own this! Sorry it's up late, there's a bus strike all over Ireland, which means transportation chaos for me! Wish me luck getting to work tomorrow.

Staring into the mirror, Darcy pulled her hair back into a clip. She wasn’t bothered dressing up, she’d rather just be relaxed for the day of work. Looking through her day planner, she noted her usual meetings, and saw the one new thing, written in Clint’s handwriting. ‘Meet Simmons’. She didn’t know who Simmons was, but assumed it was the scientist that Clint had told her about the day before. Walking out of the apartment she paused, before picking up the tweed jacket she’d stolen from Phil’s apartment before Fury had sold it. It was a comfort blanket, something she probably should have given up by now but she refused to. Pulling on the oversized jacket, she buttoned it before getting in the elevator to her office.

 

It took thirty seconds for her to get from her front door to her office, and when she opened the door it was blessedly empty. Someone had been in it in the previous forty-eight hours, and had cleaned up the coffee and shattered mug, and a new one was sitting on her desk. Darcy smiled at the design, it had the individual Avenger’s symbols on it, with her initials on the base. There was a small bow attached to the handle, with a tag saying Love, Tasha on it. She left her office to fill it with it’s first load of coffee, and when she arrived back there was a small brunette sitting outside her office.

 

“Ms. Lewis? I’m Jemma Simmons, I believe we have a meeting this morning?” She stood up, reaching slightly higher than Darcy. Darcy swapped her mug hand, and shook the other woman’s hand, gripping firmly.

 

“Please, Dr. Simmons, call me Darcy. Come on in, and we can discuss your needs.” Darcy forced herself to smile at her, to not let her anger at Phil get in the way of her work. They sat, and Jemma neatly crossed her legs, attempting a smile at Darcy.

 

“You’re a biochemist, correct, Dr. Simmons?” Darcy started, staring down at the resume that had appeared in her inbox overnight.

 

“Please, if I’m to call you Darcy you should call me Jemma. But yes, I’m a biochemist. I’ve primarily been working as medical assistance over the last year, working to evaluate the potential danger that recently discovered technologies could cause.” She cut herself off, afraid of babbling.

 

“I’m glad you enjoy your work!” Darcy was smiling at her. “I’ll show you around the labs, show you the current projects. Feel free to join anyone on a project that you’re interested in, or if you’ve an idea of your own, give me a list of equipment. We’ve a couple of free labs, the main rules are no experiments that need an ethics committee, and no weapons development. Everything else, just let me know.”

 

“Are you sure? Usually there’s a large amount of queries about being part of a formerly covert government agency which has fallen in ridiculous fashion.”

 

“Positive. You’ve no other scientists that need a place, do you? If you’ll vouch, I’ll take them on. After the necessary security checks, unfortunately. We need to work on getting Hydra away from Stark.” Darcy let a grin out, and stood, waiting for Jemma to follow her.

 

They walked down to the lab areas, and Darcy explained all the projects that currently had a biochemical element to them. The scientist kept step, asking Darcy questions about which projects were closest to a breakthrough, or which could do with more help.

 

“I think the synthetic skin could be something I could really help with. There’s an engineer who worked with me in Shield, Fitz, and he’s a fantastic engineer. This could be something we could really help out with,” Jemma spoke through her grin, looking at Darcy. Darcy felt her anger ebb away, this wasn’t Jemma’s fault. She was sweet, and Darcy thought that the two of them could be friends.

 

“Sounds good!” Darcy replied, hugging her jacket closer to her. “I didn’t have breakfast, do you want to go for brunch? I’ll pick it up.”

 

They ended up in one of the restaurants in the public area of the tower, eating French toast and sipping mimosas, talking about nothing and everything. Darcy learned that Jemma had grown up in England, and had moved to the US at seventeen to work for Shield. In return, she explained her own wandering collegiate career, and how it ended with working with Jane in New Mexico when Thor arrived.

 

They’d been there for about thirty minutes, forming a fast friendship, when Jemma waved someone over to them. Darcy turned, and saw that it was Phil. Keeping her jaw stiff, she nodded at him.

 

“Darcy, this is Phil Coulson, we worked together in Shield. Sir, this is Darcy Lewis, she’s -”

 

“I’ve met Darcy before, Jemma. We knew each other before Tahiti.” Coulson kept his voice level, and Darcy attempted to ignore her feelings. Stupid Coulson and his stupid voice.

 

“That’s one way to say it, he stole my iPod when Thor came to Earth.” Darcy attempted to hit her optimum snark level, but instead just sounded bitchy. Jemma didn’t seem to notice, but Phil definitely did.

 

“I know you’re busy right now, Miss Lewis, but could we meet for dinner tomorrow? I have some things I’d like to go over with you,” Phil looked straight into Darcy’s eyes, and she couldn’t help the ‘yes’ that slipped from her lips.

 

“I’ll see you then. Jemma, I’ll talk to you soon, we should get coffee or something,” he said, before walking away.

 

The sheen had fallen from their brunch, but Darcy kept up a friendly demeanour before she got back to her office. She decided to throw herself into her work, Phillip John Coulson be damned. And if she was far less productive, nobody needed to know. And if the tweed jacket that was previously Phil’s ended up being thrown in the ‘to be incinerated’ trash pile, nobody needed to know that, either.

 

 


	4. Tell A Lie Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Phil have dinner, and Darcy tells a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's discussion of a miscarriage here. I've tried to treat this as sensitively as I can. It's not just a plot device, and it will be revisited later.

The next day passed far quicker than Darcy would have liked it to. Instead of it being a relaxing day where she caught up on work and drank too much coffee, while forcing Jane to eat, she spent it in a whirlwind of tax forms and working on security audits. Before she even realised it, the alarm on her phone buzzed and it was five pm, reminding her to leave.

 

Phil had texted her asking to go for dinner in an Italian restaurant close by at five thirty. Darcy refused to change after work for him. If she had dressed slightly nicer than she usually would have, that was beside the point. She gave Jarvis her orders for the evening - try get Jane out at a reasonable time, make sure the labs were locked by ten pm and to text her if anything went wrong - and left, getting the elevator down to the ground floor.

 

She reached the restaurant by five twenty, and gave Phil’s name to the Maitre’d on the front door. Darcy felt slightly underdressed, but she was determined not to give into her insecurities. By the time Phil had arrived, two minutes early like always, she had a glass of red wine in front of her.

 

“Hi, I thought I’d be here first,” he said, sitting down opposite her. They were in the back of the room, and Darcy had her back to the door, leaving him a line of sight to all the exits. Old habits died hard.

 

“I came straight from work, there was no point in going up to my apartment to come back down.”

 

“We should probably talk about everything that's happened.” But before Phil could get another word out, their waiter arrived to take their order. Darcy smiled and batted her eyelids slightly, enjoying the fact that she was attempting to flirt in front of Phil, and ordered her food. Too soon for Darcy’s liking, the waiter left and she was stuck looking straight at Phil.

 

“There’s not a lot to talk about. You died, then Fury ignored your request, now you’re back. I stayed working for Jane, then she worked for Stark, now I work for Stark. As long as we can remain civil we’ll be fine.” The lies felt tough on Darcy’s tongue, but she wasn’t letting him in.

 

“We have other things to discuss. How old is the baby? Three? Can I meet him or her, what did -”

 

“No.” Darcy cut him off before Phil could say anything else. “After the funeral, after everything. I miscarried. She was born at eighteen weeks. I called her Natalie Jane, her ashes are buried in my Mom’s plot, I’ll tell you where. But please, not tonight, and not in public.” Her eyes were welling up, and she dabbed away the tears that were threatening to spill over. The one rule that everyone knew was not to bring Natalie up in front of Darcy, but obviously nobody had thought to inform Phil about her.

 

“I’m sorry...whenever you’re ready.” He kept his voice steady, but Darcy saw his eyes turn glassy for a moment, before they returned to their placid lake-blue sheen. “I want to ask how the last few years have been for you, but I know that you probably don’t want to tell me much. But I miss you, Dee. I want to know is there any possibility of us having something like we used to? Or am I even more of a madman than we thought?” He attempted to smile at his last words, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Darcy took a sip of her wine, trying to formulate a sentence. Before she had to speak, their waiter returned, placing Darcy’s soup and Phil’s salad in front of them.

 

“Can I help you at all? More drinks?” He asked, smiling at the two of them.

 

“Another glass of wine, please, and whatever IPA craft you have,” Darcy replied automatically. Phil had always drunk stupid craft beers, and kept making her taste them whenever they got a chance to snuggle on the couch together. The waiter walked away, but Phil’s smile nearly reached his eyes at her words.

 

They fell into a semi-comfortable silence, eating their individual meals. But Darcy’s mind kept going to the meals they’d have had in the past, in the two years between Thor’s arrival and Phil’s death. They’d order their own starters and mains, but picking was fair game. Now, there were no stolen chicken pieces or spoons of soup, just a silence between the pair that felt wrong.

 

As Darcy finished the last spoonful of her soup, Phil put the last crouton into his mouth. She’d been mulling over what he’d said. Did she want to be with him? Yes. There was no doubt in her mind about it. But his death had nearly taken everything away from her, and she had no illusions that he was safe. SHIELD may have been destroyed, and the world may have been somewhat safe, but working with the Avengers was danger enough. But she wanted her Phil back, wanted to be with him.

 

“I don’t think we should see each other romantically.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop it. “We’ve been through too much, the past few years. I’m not the woman I was, and you’re not the man you were. We wouldn’t work.” Part of her brain was screaming for her to shut up and just kiss him over the table, but steadied herself, pushing her feet against the tiled floor.

 

“If that’s what you want,” Phil replied. He’d schooled his face into what she’d called his ‘super agent spy’ look, and Darcy couldn’t tell what he was hiding behind it.

  
“It is.” She sounded firm, and looked it, but her heart was breaking. They finished the meal and went back to the tower, but as soon as she arrived in her apartment she broke down and sobbed for what she’d lost.


	5. Go For Broke Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy decides to throw a party. Things...devolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no reason for why this is so late, except I'm a horrible human being and I've been snowed under with life.

“Are you REALLY sure this is a good idea?” Clint called, watching Darcy balance on the window ledge in her office. Despite one full wall of the room being glass, she’d installed drywall in it, leaving enough room for a big window and a wide ledge, which was usually filled with a collection of multicoloured cushions and pillows. Right now, however, Darcy was precariously stretching up to pin one side of the paper chan she was carrying into the wall.

“Well, if the guy who’s five inches taller than me would have helped, this wouldn’t be as precarious. I’ll hide your hearing aids, Barton!” She snapped. Darcy had returned to being a woman-child for the day. She was annoyed at herself, at Fury, at the world. Therefore she’d designated the day to be ‘Lets All Have A Party Day - Except You, Stark’. Because what was the fun in telling Tony Stark to party?

“You wouldn’t dare.” It was a long running joke between the two, which started when Clint had hidden Darcy’s glasses on her. Darcy was currently seventeen down, but had hopes for a comeback eventually. It wasn’t fair that the only other person with a major sense issue was the one who was also a spysassin.

“That’s what you think,” she replied, sticking out her tongue. The movement of her head caused her to overbalance, and she fell, landing on the ground in a heap. Clint pulled her up, and she pulled her hair out of her eyes.

“Looks like you don’t even need to lose the glasses,” Clint retorted. Darcy flipped him off while evaluating whether the paper chain was too badly damaged for use. It was, so she tossed it into the trash can. There were balloons spread around, and it looked like the office had become the head office for a really bad party planners.

“Shush. I’m keeping busy and keeping myself on top of things. And ignoring the various changes in my life like a grown woman.”

Clint looked like he was going to say something, but Jemma walked in, a blonde haired, blue eyed man behind her.

“Darcy, this is Leo Fitz, remember I told you about him? He was in New York interviewing at a biopharm company, so I said I’d pull him across and introduce you.” She stopped speaking, and looked around Darcy’s brightly coloured office. “Did I miss a memo?”

“Nope. It’s Stark Industry Science Division’s ‘Lets All Have A Party Day - Except You, Stark’ Day. Which essentially means that I want to have a party, so we’re having one. Welcome to the club, Dr. Fitz.” Darcy waved, and was met with an awkward wave in return.

“I don’t stand on honour, Ms. Lewis. Leo, Fitz, or ‘Oi, Scotty’ are perfectly acceptable names for me.” He smiled, and Darcy’s smile grew bigger.

“Well, then, Fitz. I could use someone taller than me, considering BirdBrain over there won’t help. If you can put up this chain?”

Darcy shamelessly used Fitz for her own benefit, and in fifteen minutes her office and the empty lab across from it were filled with paper chains reminiscent of a 1990s childrens birthday party. People came in and out, not quite sure what was going on, but the room stayed mostly quiet.

“Anyway, considering the party’s a bust, thanks for helping me out, Fitz. Was Jenna telling you about our plans for world domination, at least where synthetic skin is concerned?” Darcy turned, patting the top of her head for her glasses and scowling when she realised they were gone. (Eighteen down)

“She told me a bit about it, it sounds interesting. I think we could possibly do something, although I’m not really much of a biologist. If you’ve any engineering projects going on, I could help with that instead.” For a tall man, he somehow managed to look like a puppy when he was offering something.

“You can have a look around the labs. Although maybe not today, I don’t think many of the people working here are hugely appreciative of my plan to have a giant party. For some weird reason.”

“Brilliant, thanks Ms. Lew - Darcy. Thanks.” He smiled, and Darcy smiled back. She waved to the two scientists, and went down the hall, intent on getting her glasses back from Clint. She made it to the elevator, and it brought her up to the common room. Darcy didn’t know who was on the couch, she could make out two people, but features were blurry at best. The one thing she did see was Tasha’s red hair down the hall.

“Tasha, can you help me?” She called, turning towards the figure she was pretty certain was the older woman.

“Did Clint steal your glasses again? You really need to stop letting him do that to you,” Tasha replied, placing the black round framed glasses securely on Darcy’s face.

“I know, but I threatened his hearing aids again. It was stupid, but hey, I got a laugh.” Darcy smiled, before walking away towards her apartment. A night of netflix and ice cream was in her future, complete with the tub of Baked Alaska Ben and Jerrys that she had tucked in the back of her freezer.

“Darcy!” Tony called her as she was walking off. “Dinner in the kitchen at 9, ok?”

“I’m busy, Tony.” Darcy didn’t even turn back to him. The thoughts of having a group dinner was too much for her. She needed a night to relax and unwind, away from everyone else.

“What, have a hot date or something?” There was a teasing tone to Tony’s voice, but an accusatory one as well.

“Sure do, have to go get ready for it, you know yourself.” Darcy walked into the elevator that would take her up to her apartment, humming along to the elevator music that was playing - today a pan pipe version of Tik Tok. What she didn’t see was Tony turning back around, and the devastation clear on Phil Coulson’s face.


	6. Sorry Charlie Day

Darcy was having a reasonably peaceful day. She’d had a budget meeting - which consisted of Pepper congratulating her on keeping Tony’s expenditure on nonsense to a new low, and offering her a raise if she was kept amount of explosions at the current level for another six months. Then she’d wandered into several labs, asked exactly what people were doing, and had come up with some projects that hadn’t seen any progress in a few months. All she’d planned on doing was going over the files and seeing which projects might end up being culled due to lack of progress. When a group of scientists were still working on the same equation after six months, it was over.

Of course, as she was settling into this, Tony arrived into her office.

“How was the date last night, Minion?” He asked, settling down on the black leather couch in the middle of her office.

“Just great, Gru. Ben was a complete gentleman, and Jerry couldn’t have been sweeter. Add in my good friends Huck, Olivia, and Quinn, and it was great.” Darcy didn’t even look up, missing Tony’s look at her.

“You mean that you blew off family dinner for Netflix and ice cream? Really, I thought you were better than that, Lewis.” Darcy looked up to Tony’s disappointed face. He’d meant everything that he’d said.

“Tony, I’m still getting used to the fact that my ex...something...is still alive. Phil and I had a complicated, fantastic, beautiful relationship. And then he died. How would you feel if you went to Pepper’s funeral, received her ashes, and then a few years later, just when you think you’re starting to get your life back together, considering going out and getting drunk and meeting someone new, Pepper arrives back in your life, without even an apology for leaving. An apology for not telling me he was still alive, but nothing about leaving. Because right now, I can’t work out what’s going on with my head. If you’d asked me a week ago if I wanted Phil back, I would have done anything. But now I don’t know.” She wiped under her eye, and turned back to the file in front of her, leaving Tony to stare down at her.

“If Pepper died, I’d be dead too. Because we both know that there’s no way I’m letting her go without me. You didn’t tell any of us about your relationship with him, let alone it was that deep. So you tell me, Lewis. Why didn’t you?”

“Because what was I meant to say? Hey, guys, remember when I was rushed to hospital with appendicitis? Nope, actually, that was the last remaining piece of the man I love leaving this world, sorry about that? You don’t know about our relationship, Tony. You don’t understand anything about how Phil and I worked, how our relationship was. And I hate bringing all this up, because I want to move on. I want to pretend that the last three years didn’t happen, and either end up in the relationship I was in then, or to pretend that the two years before that didn’t happen, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

Darcy stood up, closed the file she’d been attempting to work on and decided to just go back to her apartment. Maybe start apartment hunting, she needed time and space. It wasn’t like she couldn’t afford it, she was earning enough money to rent somewhere in Brooklyn or Queens. Getting into the elevator, she pushed the button for her floor, closed her eyes, and leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. It wasn’t until she heard a button being pushed that she looked up.

“Sorry, Darcy, do you want me to get the next elevator?” Phil asked, looking at her. She wondered how she must look, red eyed and freaked out.

“No, Phil. We have to get along around everyone, may as well get along now. How was your day?”

“Pretty normal, went over some paperwork with Steve, got to see just how much money’s been spent on rebuilding efforts. It’s a scary number. How was yours?”

“Seeing which projects are going anywhere, got into a fight with Tony. Mostly normal stuff.”

“About anything serious?”

“Tony sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong. I’m pretty used to it, but he asked me about you and our relationship. Just to warn you.” Darcy folded her arms over her chest, and leaned against the elevator wall, looking at Phil. He wasn’t in a suit, for once, but in jeans and a tshirt that looked like it was brand new. Which, she reminded herself, it probably was. Natasha, Clint and she had taken apart his apartment, clearing it of his belongings and dumping them in different pawn shops around the city.

“Sounds like Stark. Tell me if he’s being a nuisance, I’ll deal with him.”

“I’ve been dealing with Stark for nearly two years, Phil. I’ve got this. What’s happening with the rest of your team?” Darcy tapped at her tablet, bringing up a note to start typing out what would happen.

“Melinda May and Daisy Johnson are the other two members you haven’t met. Melinda is going to be Maria Hill’s right hand woman, so you might not even meet her. I’m trying to convince Daisy to apply for a job here in the IT department. She’s fantastic.” Phil smiled at the thoughts of Daisy, which made Darcy’s heart clench. A woman who was good with computers, with a five letter name starting with D and ending in Y? Because Phil Coulson didn’t have a type.

“Let me know. I’ll organise an interview.” Darcy tapped it out on her tablet, breathing deeply as the elevator came to a halt. Phil stepped out, before turning back to wave at Darcy. The doors shut, bringing her up to her floor. Walking in her front door, she saw her calendar was on “Sorry Charlie Day”. So apt.


End file.
